Becoming a Father

Those of you who read this on a daily or monthly basis know I do not often speak of my own personal life and usually stick to issues of education. This current posting I have decided to speak about what is currently going on in my life. Many of you are aware of my journey on becoming a Father but most of you are not.  If you're like most let me bring you up to speed.

After trying for two years on our own, my wife and I we were unable to have a child of our own. My wife and I decided to go another route to becoming parents, adoption was our choice. In just a short time after finishing our classes and social work visits my wife and I have been selected to adopt our son from Indiana. We are in the final weeks until his arrival. His due date is Jan. 1, 2008. His name is going to be Avery Celestino Soler. He will have the middle name of the most influential male in my life, my Abuelo (Grandfather) Tino. His room is ready to go and all we are awaiting for is his arrival.

We received a call early Friday morning from the birth mother that she was having contractions 3 to 4 minutes apart and she wanted to put us on standby. Well the day went on and it looks like Avery is not ready to come into the world just yet.

Well even though I am not currently driving on my way to go pick him up from the hospital in Indiana that phone call got me to do some more thinking about being a Father.

I thought to myself oh man, I am going to be a Dad, officially now, the pressure is on! I got to thinking how my life will now change as I will have an all new purpose to live for. Looking back at my life I grew up without the daily presence of my biological father. He would visit on birthdays and special occasions but as I grew older those visits became fewer and fewer. I grew up mostly living with my Mother and spending a lot of time with my grandparents and in particular with my Abuelo (Grandpa). He showed me over the years what it meant to be a man and he often disciplined me through words, actions and expectations.

I know think to myself what type of Father will I be? Will I be courageous enough to tell my son, I love him daily. Will I be able to prepare him for success like my Abuelo (Grandfather) did for me? Will I be able to show him that what matters in life most is what we do for others and not the monetary things we possess. I know I will have a lot of challenges ahead of me and I have some great examples in my life that will help me as I enter the world of fatherhood.

Avery, I hope one day you read this. As the days get closer I can't wait until I have you in my arms! I want you to know that I will make mistakes as our journey begins together but understand that I am learning this whole father role. I will do my best to give you all the love and support you need to succeed, and if I don't please let me know. I know you may not agree with the things I do, but remember I am only going to do what is best for you and I have learned a lot from my own experiences. I can't wait to spend time playing basketball with you and hanging out like father and sons do. I may sometimes embarrass you as you can tell in this photo, your father likes to joke around a lot, but son don't take any of it personal.

Lastly, hurry up and come into this world your father is eagerly waiting!

I Love You!

Future Father of the Year!
Your Papi!

Color Matters?

Lately this race and color has been a very hot debate in my school district and community. There have been articles written by various individuals rebutting and supporting the various perspectives.

Here are my thoughts...
I strongly believe that race is not the single determinant of success by minority students in urban education. I beleive that what students of color and non-color want from their teachers are individuals that care and take the time to get to know them for who they are as students. I have a quote hanging on my door in my office that states, "Before a student cares to know what you can teach them, they must know that you care."

As a Latino going through the RCSD there were very few if any Latino educators in my educational experience. Did this doom me for failure? Nope not at all because the teachers that made me successful where those who I remember today as the teachers that took a vested interest in me inside and outside of the classroom. The teachers who attended my basketball games, the teachers who allowed me to stay after school and hang out with the in their room, the teachers who let me come up during lunch to offer me help outside of the normal class day. It didn't matter to me how much math they taught me or what content I was showed but rather the connection we had as student and teacher that encouraged me to work hard for that teacher. My main point here is that having teachers that care is what is most important not the color of the teacher.

I do believe that having more staff and teachers of color is an important thing but to say that it is a reason for higher suspension rates, special education referrals, high school dropout percentages is slap in the face to those who work day in and day out in schools.

My question is why are we not doing national recruiting to help increase the number of diverse highly qualified candidates? This is a national problem that is being felt by school district across the country so why not take a different approach? Why not team up with a local university and create a gateway teaching program that prepares our current student body to enter college become teachers and come back and work in the district that prepared them. Rather then point the finger and make claims offer viable solutions to increase the number of Latino and African Americans available to be chosen in the work force.

In closing let us all offer solutions to change items rather then point out obvious deficiencies being felt across urban school districts nationwide. Some of the greatest leaders in this world learned for a variety of individuals, and if you asked most of them why where those individuals so influential in their lives they would more then likely say because they cared in my success.


Living the Dream!
Mr. Soler

Mr. Brizard, the time is now!

Mr. Brizard,

I want to be one of the first school level administrators to welcome  you to Rochester and the Rochester City School District.  As you are well aware of there are a multitude of problems/opportunities needing to be addressed in our school district. 

I want to tell you that there are a lot of hard working individuals at the building level that need to be recognized for their daily efforts.  These individuals range from custodians, paraprofessionals, teachers and administrative staff. 

From what I can tell you from my own experience the majority of individuals at the school level want a Superintendent who is truly about bringing some drastic positive change with the needed resources, accountability and  commitment to see them through.  We have been in limbo for quite some time now and the time is now to get back on track.

I am sure you have many ideas and initiatives you are eager to get in place when you arrive next month.  I hope you use your New York City experience to help make some real changes to Rochester.   Lastly I truly hope you surround yourself with individuals who are making this job as personal as you are, and understand that everyday we fail we lose more and more youth. 

Good luck! Your time is now!

Living the Dream!

Mr. Soler

Priorities or Livelihood?

Today was another eventful day at work. I was able to informally walk through some of my teachers classrooms and watch them teach. I was able to see student become engaged and challenged by the different situations and content presented by their teachers. I also had an interesting conversation with one of my schools' more popular and academically stellar students.

She is a senior and has faced a lot of adversity in her life. She comes from a home with two sibling and a single mother. Like many students in my building she has been very transient and has moved often in her 17 year lifetime. Just last year she was kicked out of her home and left at the corner locked out of her home. Her mother had decided that she had enough of dealing with her and she is old enough to be on her own. Yeah, I would't believe a parent could do that but it really happens and it happens a little too much in our society.

Well after being on her own this past summer and living with a group of other young ladies she attempted to come back home. Her mother and her have tried to heal and mend their relationship over the past 5 months. Unfortunately it the situation has occurred again. The student came looking for me once again, asking me what to do? Would I help her find some income based housing? Would I be a reference for her? Here is a 4.0 student who works a part-time job at Wegmans, takes two college level courses, and has now been kicked out of her home.

Those not involved in urban education often forget what our students are face with. They often blame schools for the failures and struggles of children without closely examining the failures of society and parents. Again I wish all of those who are looking from the outside in to spend sometime with those on the front lines before you past judgement on our failures. As you can see from this scenario a lot of times it is items out of the control of the school that hinder our success, but don't worry this child will succeed if I have something to say and do about it.

Living the Dream!
Mr. Soler
www.anibalsoler.com

Happy Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving, is a time to make sure you tell those you love, that you are thankful for everything they do for you. Make sure you hold them close and tell them you love them. Make sure you thank yourself for doing what's right for those who are not as privileged as you are. Make sure you enjoy the moments spent with your family during these times.

Lastly, thank you for being in my life!

Happy Thanksgiving Day!

Living the Dream!
Mr. Soler

School Safety

On a daily basis, schools and school districts face a multitude of challenges in keeping weapons, drugs and any other harmful individuals or items out of their buildings.

Most school buildings have a small handful of individuals that deal with safety and preventing items from coming in. It is visually obvious very few schools have enough resources and staff to handle the high need of safety in a school.

I often ask myself, why are school districts so reactive when it comes to safety? Why don't they provide schools with the resources to scan every student, provide doors with alarms on them, airport style bag scanners, or with enough video cameras to monitor school activity?

The fact is without a safe environment no learning can occur. Staff and students will be to concerned with their safety then with teaching and learning.

I challenge all school districts to make sure they provide enough resources to make sure that incidents of violence that involve weapons, do not occur. I challenge school districts to become "Proactive" rather then waiting for an incident to occur.

Another critical element involved in creating a safe school environment is having enough counseling and wellness resources available to students. Counselors need to have manageable size case loads so that they can know students more intimately and hopefully prevent incidents from occurring since they are better informed.

The last and most vital element is parent/guardian-student relationships. We need our parents of our students to talk, listen and respond to their children. We all remember as a child we needed someone we could talk to if we had an issue, or even if we didn't. We all need someone to vent or celebrate with, but we often get caught up in our own lives to take time to listen to our children who need us the most. We also have to encourage our students the importance of telling an adult when another child may be upset, and may cause harm to him or herself or another individual.

I know you have heard it before but I cannot emphasize it enough!
"It takes a village to raise a child!"


Living the Dream!
Mr. Anibal Soler, Jr.
www.anibalsoler.com

A Letter to the Mayor, City Councilman and School Board Officials of Rochester

Dear Mr. Duffy, Mr. McFadden and Mr. White,

As a citizen of this community I want to applaud you on your efforts to
increase the awareness of this ongoing issue of violence and poverty within
our Rochester community. I view this problem as not just belonging to the
City of Rochester, but belonging to the entire community including the
suburbs of Greece, Gates, Brighton and so on. As you know the demographics
of the suburbs are changing as more of us minorities are moving out into
those areas.

I work in the City School District, as a High School Vice Principal and I
love my job and the students I serve. I have spent my entire professional
career in the Rochester City School District as a teacher and now as a
school administrator. I attended elementary, middle and high school in the
city and I would have graduated from them if it wasn’t for my family moving
down lake avenue one street over into a town called Greece, where I completed
high school.

This problem of violence I see as a huge breakdown of the educational system
and what it offers Latino and African American students. Being Latino the
issue of relevance was something that I struggled with while attending city
and suburban schools, relevance was something that was not in place in
curriculum nor in practice.

Today as a school administrator I encourage my staff that they build,
relationship with the students they serve and that they model what is it to
be a positive and productive citizen. That they incorporate strategies
which help show relevance to why it is important to succeed at school,
especially to a student who comes from an environment where school is low on
the list of priorities.

As you gentleman continue to push forward with your various projects that
will affect the students and the community of Rochester please remember to
encourage that the RCSD place a Superintendent that is vested in this
community and wants to remain here to see things through. One who knows
that the true litmus test for any project in the educational system, is
whether the project is truly beneficial to students. A Superintendent who
understands the various influential variables of urban education, a
Superintendent who is truly focused on raising the level of success for our
students.

I also want to remind you that most of the individuals regardless of
nationality in our city school system want to see the students succeed, and
work very hard to make sure that this occurs. All the students I serve do
not care what the color of the teacher is but rather that the teacher CARE
and is there because they want to make a difference, although ethnicity
helps build a connection it is not the ultimate factor in determining
student success.

I often go home from work frustrated and discouraged that more cannot be
done in terms of providing resources and support for the students that I
serve. I do not sleep well at night knowing that statistically half of the
students that enter my school building will not finish high school. This is
a crisis!

As you are all aware it takes a community to raise a child, and education
equals opportunity. I hope the Children’s Zone does come to fruition for
the sake of our students and community.

Once again keep up the great work as we are in a state of emergency to save
thousands of youth! Don’t hesitate to lean on others like myself for
support or help as the success of our city depends on it.

Thank you for your time and have a blessed day!


--
¡Viviendo el Sueño! (Living the Dream!)
Mr. Anibal Soler, Jr.
http://www.anibalsoler.com
http://anibalsoler.blogspot.com