Back to School

As I write this section I am sitting in the blazing temperatures of Orlando, Florida vacationing with my family in Disney. During my week here, one thing keeps popping back into my mind, that one thing is “back to school.” I keep thinking about the many things I have still to accomplish, but more importantly the many important things that students and parents can do to ensure a successful start to the school year. I thought I would take this month's issue to address some of my “back to school” recommendations for parents and students.

First, parents this is the best time to sit with your daughter or son and clearly go over their performance last school year. It is the best time to discuss those results before you head into the start of another school year. You should both clearly lay out some goals together and then periodically check on your child's progress as the school year goes along. Let me warn you though first, please don't make the goals just about academic performance but make sure you include behavior as well.

Parents, August is also a great time to revisit what is necessary for “back to school” shopping. I often times see many of my students coming to school with the latest and greatest clothing and footwear, but with no book bags, pens or calculators. I know it's important to look good, but if you don't have school supplies from the onset, then your telling your teachers and administrators that it's more important that you look good rather than be prepared for school. If you don't know what's needed for your school, then call them up and ask for a “back to school” supply list. I am sure they would love to provide one for you, but you can never go wrong with lots of notebooks, pens, folders and pencils.

Parents, I will stop here but I cannot emphasize it enough that our students don't hear it enough at home that being successful in school is the most important thing in their lives and that everything else will fall in place once they are successful in school.

Now, some words of advice to the students of Rochester. Let me first start out by saying I hope you have enjoyed your summer, but I also hope you have spent some time thinking about how you will continue your successes or improve on your past performance in school. I will keep my recommendations short and focused really around a couple of things, all which surprisingly you can control.

My first word of advice to you is that you take some time before school and get use to being on a schedule. What do I mean by a schedule? Well, what I mean is that you go to bed at a reasonable hour (no later then 10 P.M.) and that you wake up with the use of an alarm clock. Getting your body in a routine similar to school will help ensure that you are ready to start your school day fully engaged.

My next piece of advice is that you start to read daily, especially if you haven't been doing this at all this summer. I don't care what you read, it could be something that interests you like a good novel or a magazine. What matters to your teachers is that you are reading daily. Unfortunately for you reading alone won't do it and you must take the time to also practice your writing. Again, I am not asking for much, but after you read something take the time to write a quick blurb about what you just read, or maybe it's a paragraph asking some questions that you have about the article or book. The combination of both elements will determine your overall success in school and in life.

Now for my final recommendation for all of you students as you get ready to head back to school. Take the time to take advantage of all the programs, support and opportunities your school has to offer. School is about you, it's not about the adults that work there. In fact, many of them are there to guarantee that you succeed, but they cannot do it without your willingness to succeed in school. Regardless of whatever obstacles you face, school is the one place that can help you move beyond them but you have to want it. I will leave you with this final piece of advice. I can show you all that needs to be done in order to succeed in school, but you the parent and student must take what I give you and actually do it! If you do your part, then the rest will fall into place. Have a great start of the school year and remember to start getting ready now!

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¡Viviendo el Sueño! (Living the Dream!)
Mr. Anibal Soler, Jr.
http://www.anibalsoler.com
http://anibalsoler.blogspot.com

Fatherhood: It's Never to Late

It was 1990 and I was 13 years old, it was the last time I can remember my father being around for one of my birthday celebrations or better yet any celebration. Now, there are some things you should know about my father and me. First, we share the same name and secondly, we also share the same birthday. Like most, Latinos naming your first-born boy after the father is a tradition. Furthermore my parents were not married, something that has become a negative standard associated with our culture, and as you can imagine contributed significantly to his absence. In fact, my father didn’t live in Rochester he lived in Newark, New Jersey and currently resides in Florida.

Outside of these small intimate rendezvous around birthdays or holidays that was the extent of our relationship. I grew up without his presence. Although my Grandfather did an outstanding job filling the void, it is something that I still am impacted by today. Questions of why and images of doubt still go through my mind as to why my father was never really involved. At the time of his absence I didn’t know what to think of his lack of involvement, or what to say. I thought it was normal, because all of my other Latino and African American friends were also being raised by their single mothers and grandparents, again I knew nothing else.

The point that I am trying to make is that the role of the Latino Male as a father within our community has drastically declined. In fact, according to the 2000 Census Hispanic women had a 36% rate of childbirths out of wedlock. This statistic clearly states that there is a divide within our family structure. A separation that allows Latino males to not step up and take responsibility for not only creating a child but also in raising them. We have lost the value of fatherhood within the Latino family structure. I am not saying that parents have to get married or even that they have to live together, but instead what I am saying is that the today more then ever the father must be involved in raising his child. Involvement doesn’t mean just paying child support or showing up on those special days. It means picking up the phone daily and calling to check on his or her progress. It means spending time reading a book, or coloring with him or her. It means showing that child, that although you are not living with them, you are committed to always being a part of their life. It also means that during good and bad times you will always be there.

Presently, the communication between my father and I is still sporadic, and although we have never had any meaningful conversations about why things worked out the way they did, I do know he is proud of what I have become. I know that he acknowledges the strength of my mother and the commitment of my grandfather to fill his void. I also know that it hurts him knowing that he wasn’t around enough, although he has never told me directly, he has demonstrated it by his renewed attempts to stay in contact. Again, I know that it hurts because he could never go back and change the way things worked out.

Having recently become a father myself I have not taken the role of being a father lightly. I know realize first hand the power and influence I will have on my son as a man. Lastly, if you could take anything from this small vignette of my life, take with you the impact and importance of being a Latino and a father. There is no time like the present to go out and change your approach and ensure you are a part of your child’s future. Ultimately, If you know a Latino father who hasn’t done their part please remind them of how important this moment is and that it’s never to late to start.
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¡Viviendo el Sueño! (Living the Dream!)
Mr. Anibal Soler, Jr.
http://www.anibalsoler.com
http://anibalsoler.blogspot.com

Happy Birthday Avery!

Today was one of the most important days of my life. It was the 1st birthday of my son, Avery. It's still hard to believe that a year has gone by. Watching him grow up everyday is a constant reminder that life is a beautiful thing.

During moments of his birthday I found myself reflecting back to the night we received the phone call that he was born. Since that day, memories of excitement and pure joy have filled the life of my wife and I. Again, we are truly blessed!!

As you would expect, he was rightfully spoiled by our families. He has everything and more that a 1 year old could need and most importantly we have him.

Happy Birthday Little man!

We love you!

Papi

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¡Viviendo el Sueño! (Living the Dream!)
Mr. Anibal Soler, Jr.
http://www.anibalsoler.com
http://anibalsoler.blogspot.com

7 Months as a Father

It has been an amazing 7 months since my son stepped into my life. It has been filled with many long nights and exciting days! My son has brought a new found joy to my family and a new role for myself. He is truly a blessing and has brought a renewed perspective and purpose on life. His innocence, energy and curiosity is contagious and often times refreshing in a world that could burn you at a moments notice.

Time is going so fast and I often catch myself worried that soon enough he will be asking me for advice on women, sports, school and life. He will be watching my every move and looking at me as his benchmark on life. I will have to set the bar high for my son, and I will also have to support him at all times to ensure that he is successful at whatever he chooses.

Bottom line, he is always going to be looking up to me.

Avery, I love you!

Papi

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Living the Dream!
Mr. Anibal Soler, Jr.
www.anibalsoler.com

Living the Dream: We Are All We Got!!!

The city and suburban residents of Rochester, have to realize one thing, "We are all we got!!" It is not good enough for us to turn away from the problems plaguing the city. We cannot allow for the economic breakdown of class to be reflective of our city and our priorities.

We have to be comfortable enough to speak out when we see wrong. We ALL have a civic responsibility to each other as humans in this world. We must not be afraid to advocate for those in need. We must not be afraid to speak out for inequities that occur in the school system. We must not be afraid to challenge one another to do what is right for our children, students and the world. If we see crimes committed, we have to speak out against them or eventually they will consume and dictate how we live our lives.

Students, educators, school leaders, politicians must remember one thing,...
WE ARE ALL WE GOT!!!

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¡Viviendo el Sueño! (Living the Dream!)
Mr. Anibal Soler, Jr.
http://www.anibalsoler.com
http://anibalsoler.blogspot.com

New Year, New Promises and Renewed Efforts

Happy New Year!

Another year has come to a close and it's now time to sit down and think about what you are going to do different, or better this new year. 

I begin to think about all the items that still need to be done in education to help better meet the needs of my students. I think about my new personal adventure as a father in 2008.  I think about my continuing academic journey in my Doctoral program, at the University of Rochester. 

Before I continue looking forward let me just say that this year was another great year for myself. I have had numerous amounts and opportunities to help students at my school. I have been privileged enough to make connections with other professionals in  education who have the same passion and desire to create better opportunities for students as I do.  My wife and I also had the honor and privilege of receiving my son, Avery into this world. So in retrospect it was a great 2007.  

So what is in store for 2008? I am not sure but I do know that whatever it is I will make the most and best of any situation that may come my way.  Now this leads me to my resolutions for the 2008 new year.  

Here is a quick list of my manageable and realistic resolutions:

• Be the best father I can be and do all the things that were never done for me by my father
• Continue to do well in my doctoral coursework and ultimately get closer to completion
• Continue to become a better school administrator, and continue to reflect and make changes where possible
• Create new opportunities for my students, to help achieve their dreams in and out of school
• Tell those in my family and circle of trust, that I love them as often as possible, and always remember that family comes first

Those are my top 5 resolutions for 2008, let us see how I do.

Have a great New Years Day!

¡Viviendo el Sueño! (Living the Dream!)

Mr. Anibal Soler, Jr.
http://www.anibalsoler.com
http://anibalsoler.blogspot.com

Becoming a Father

Those of you who read this on a daily or monthly basis know I do not often speak of my own personal life and usually stick to issues of education. This current posting I have decided to speak about what is currently going on in my life. Many of you are aware of my journey on becoming a Father but most of you are not.  If you're like most let me bring you up to speed.

After trying for two years on our own, my wife and I we were unable to have a child of our own. My wife and I decided to go another route to becoming parents, adoption was our choice. In just a short time after finishing our classes and social work visits my wife and I have been selected to adopt our son from Indiana. We are in the final weeks until his arrival. His due date is Jan. 1, 2008. His name is going to be Avery Celestino Soler. He will have the middle name of the most influential male in my life, my Abuelo (Grandfather) Tino. His room is ready to go and all we are awaiting for is his arrival.

We received a call early Friday morning from the birth mother that she was having contractions 3 to 4 minutes apart and she wanted to put us on standby. Well the day went on and it looks like Avery is not ready to come into the world just yet.

Well even though I am not currently driving on my way to go pick him up from the hospital in Indiana that phone call got me to do some more thinking about being a Father.

I thought to myself oh man, I am going to be a Dad, officially now, the pressure is on! I got to thinking how my life will now change as I will have an all new purpose to live for. Looking back at my life I grew up without the daily presence of my biological father. He would visit on birthdays and special occasions but as I grew older those visits became fewer and fewer. I grew up mostly living with my Mother and spending a lot of time with my grandparents and in particular with my Abuelo (Grandpa). He showed me over the years what it meant to be a man and he often disciplined me through words, actions and expectations.

I know think to myself what type of Father will I be? Will I be courageous enough to tell my son, I love him daily. Will I be able to prepare him for success like my Abuelo (Grandfather) did for me? Will I be able to show him that what matters in life most is what we do for others and not the monetary things we possess. I know I will have a lot of challenges ahead of me and I have some great examples in my life that will help me as I enter the world of fatherhood.

Avery, I hope one day you read this. As the days get closer I can't wait until I have you in my arms! I want you to know that I will make mistakes as our journey begins together but understand that I am learning this whole father role. I will do my best to give you all the love and support you need to succeed, and if I don't please let me know. I know you may not agree with the things I do, but remember I am only going to do what is best for you and I have learned a lot from my own experiences. I can't wait to spend time playing basketball with you and hanging out like father and sons do. I may sometimes embarrass you as you can tell in this photo, your father likes to joke around a lot, but son don't take any of it personal.

Lastly, hurry up and come into this world your father is eagerly waiting!

I Love You!

Future Father of the Year!
Your Papi!

Priorities or Livelihood?

Today was another eventful day at work. I was able to informally walk through some of my teachers classrooms and watch them teach. I was able to see student become engaged and challenged by the different situations and content presented by their teachers. I also had an interesting conversation with one of my schools' more popular and academically stellar students.

She is a senior and has faced a lot of adversity in her life. She comes from a home with two sibling and a single mother. Like many students in my building she has been very transient and has moved often in her 17 year lifetime. Just last year she was kicked out of her home and left at the corner locked out of her home. Her mother had decided that she had enough of dealing with her and she is old enough to be on her own. Yeah, I would't believe a parent could do that but it really happens and it happens a little too much in our society.

Well after being on her own this past summer and living with a group of other young ladies she attempted to come back home. Her mother and her have tried to heal and mend their relationship over the past 5 months. Unfortunately it the situation has occurred again. The student came looking for me once again, asking me what to do? Would I help her find some income based housing? Would I be a reference for her? Here is a 4.0 student who works a part-time job at Wegmans, takes two college level courses, and has now been kicked out of her home.

Those not involved in urban education often forget what our students are face with. They often blame schools for the failures and struggles of children without closely examining the failures of society and parents. Again I wish all of those who are looking from the outside in to spend sometime with those on the front lines before you past judgement on our failures. As you can see from this scenario a lot of times it is items out of the control of the school that hinder our success, but don't worry this child will succeed if I have something to say and do about it.

Living the Dream!
Mr. Soler
www.anibalsoler.com

Happy Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving, is a time to make sure you tell those you love, that you are thankful for everything they do for you. Make sure you hold them close and tell them you love them. Make sure you thank yourself for doing what's right for those who are not as privileged as you are. Make sure you enjoy the moments spent with your family during these times.

Lastly, thank you for being in my life!

Happy Thanksgiving Day!

Living the Dream!
Mr. Soler

Birthday Weekend

Well my 30th birthday weekend has come to a close. It was a great three days that begun on Friday with a visit at school from New York State's, Department of Education. The State's Education Department was visiting our school as part of the process to help remove us from the "persistently dangerous schools" list. A list which any educational institution is not proud to be on.

In retrospect I felt that the visit went extremely well I was the first person on the agenda to present. I presented to the "team" from State Ed. our schools' Microsoft Sharepoint Intranet site. I mainly focused on how we as a school our using this to increase our electronic communication and collaboration as a school building. I emphasized the power of having a digital library of resources for staff to reference from our site. I also spoke about how we use it to post school news, events, meeting minutes and weekly bulletins.

The visit had other presentations and facets to it that I rather not go into detail about. I will end this piece by saying that the visitors were very cognizant of the realities of urban education. They understood the importance of our work and how difficult it is when you have a numerous amount of external factors that we cannot control going against us.

The highlight of my weekend was my birthday party. My wife spent a lot of time coordinating this event. As usual we had a plethora of food and entertainment. My gifts ranged from educational books to gift cards. The highlight of all my gifts was a shadow box my wife created for me. The shadow box was a snapshot of my 30 years of life. The shadow box is unbelievably amazing and I can't wait to hang it up in my office at work. I have included a photo for those of you who may never have a chance to see it.

Lastly the weekend ended better then I could have ever expected. I was able to spend time with those individuals who matter the most to me in my life. My wife, family and friends really know how to make every moment together enjoyable.

Thanks!

Living the Dream!

Anibal Soler, Jr.